


Mortys and Jessicas

by orphan_account



Category: Pocket Mortys, Rick and Morty
Genre: Theatre friends please never find this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:51:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A religion starts up in the citadel.





	Mortys and Jessicas

"Looking for paradise? Come over here and you'll get more than you can handle!"

"H-hey, you ever feel something stirring inside you? I can help!"

"If you want a slice of heaven, then get on over and I'll give you the whole cake!"

"Oh. My. God." Miami Morty rolled his eyes and pushed his sunglasses up onto his hair. "Uh, hi! E-246!"

"Do you need completion? I'll-" The other Morty spun around to face Miami Morty, another line already slipping off his tongue. "Miami? What are you doing here?"

"I was going to flirt with the servers at The Creepy Morty, but it looks like you've already used all my pickup lines." 

"No, dumbass, what are you doing in Mortytown? Mortys with Ricks aren't allowed here! Y-you could be arrested."

"Whoa, since, since when?" Miami pulled his fur coat around himself, suddenly feeling exposed. "I haven't even seen my Rick in a year. That's impossible."

"President Morty passed the bill a month ago, man! Greaser Morty came into town and was taken away just a day after. This guy, he's serious." The other Morty dragged Miami into an alley, then checked around the corner to make sure they were alone. 

"What? President Morty? What happened to the Council of Ricks?" Miami shivered, not just from the cold. "What happened while I was at the beach?"

"Aw jeez, you don't know. Look, let's, let's go to The Creepy Morty. I'll fill you in there."

"O-okay."

***

"And that's the major stuff he's done in office. Hasnt even been two months." 

Miami had stopped licking his lollipop ten minutes ago, engaged entirely in the horror story. "Holy shit."

"Yeah, and don't even get me started on the crap he's saying about religion. I can barely conc-convert anybody to Jessicism now!" 

Miami smirked and put his lollipop back in his mouth. "About that, Jessica Morty, it might not all be his fault. Do you hear yourself when you preach?"

"What about it?" Jessica Morty sipped his ice water. 

"Deli-delicately put, your words have a… double meaning." Miami slid a 10 to a dancer with a wink and pointed at Jessica Morty. 

Jessica Morty crossed his arms. "And indelicately?" 

"You sound like a whore. “Something rising deep inside you? I can give you a hand with that.” We-we're 14, we're Mortys, and we're all mostly straight. Only a-a Rick would actually go fuck himself."

Jessica Morty gasped and splashed his water in Miami's face. Miami nodded at the dancer Morty, who swooped in seamlessly and started "dancing" at Jessica Morty. 

"Sorry, JM, but there's a Goth Morticia and a Prep Morty at the end of the bar who desperately need me. Enjoy the dance!" Miami sucked his lollipop while staring at the two Mortys with half-lidded eyes. "Maybe once this guy's done, you can try and convert the preppy. Jessicas are preps too, right?"

"Oh my Jessica, you're right! I have to get over there!" Jessica Morty shoved the dancer at Miami. "You, you paid for the dance, you should receive it! I'll go!"

"Hey man, no touching the strippers!" Dancer Morty snapped. 

"Oh honey, what you're doing is not stripping. Let me show you how it's done." Miami took off his sunglasses and grinned at Jessica Morty. "Go ahead, I'm busy now."

Jessica Morty didn't waste a second. Some Mortys say they didn't even see him running over to the Goth and Prep Mortys, he was going so fast. 

"Excu-excuse me, uh, is something missing from your life?" Now that he was here, Jessica Morty wasn't sure what to say, but he didn't want to sound like a slut the way Miami said he did. 

"Would I be at The Creepy Morty talking to you, and worse, a prep, if nothing was missing?" Goth Morticia sipped her Bloody Mary while managing to maintain a glare at both Prep and Jessica Morty. 

"Ignore Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way over here, she's just upset because the '00s are over and no one likes goths anymore." Prep Morty offered a friendly smile that quickly became a scowl when Goth flicked some of her martini at him. 

"Um, do you ever want to do more? To find a deeper meaning?" Jessica Morty tried to ignore the escalating catfight and focus on his faith. 

"I'm already- I'm already doing more than this dipshit preppy!"

"The deepest meaning is suck my dick!" 

"I-I-I, can help-" Goth spilled her drink over Jessica Morty's scripture in her epic lunge to pin Prep onto the counter, ruining the print. 

"Goth ass bitch!"

"Could you just listen-"

"Preppy dickwad!"

"SHUT UP!" The Creepy Morty went silent. "What if I were to tell you of a place where both preps and goths could coexist?"

"Please, like I could ever tolerate a radical, untrained cunt like her." Prep huffed. 

"I'm untrained and-and radical? You just told me to suck your dick and called me a cunt!"

"HEY!" Jessica Morty could feel the situation getting out of hand. "Consider converting to Jessicism. We worship the true goddesses- Jessicas. There's a reason all Mortys are in love with her, and it's because she's transcendent. Divine. With Jessica, anything is possible. Even preps and goths getting along."

"It would be freeing to not want to punch Goth every time I see her." Prep flipped through the booklet Jessica Morty gave him. "And my Jessica is a huge inspiration to me. I'm in."

"And I could find my True Jessica? One who actually understands me? A, a goth Jessica?" Goth slammed her booklet on the counter. "Me too."

And starting with a prep and a goth, Miami and Jessica Morty initiated the spread of the citadel's fastest growing religion.

**Author's Note:**

> Jessica: exists  
> Mortys: "you could make a religion out of this!"
> 
> Comments and kudos fuel me. Bye lovelies!


End file.
